England has the best street names. Don't believe me? Well, take a look at the photographic evidence of actual street name signs from all over that green and ribald land. I didn't make any of them up. Honest.
All Alone (Bradford, West Yorkshire)
It seems this street was named after a house built there in the 18th century. Dr. Samuel Ellis built a house in 1773 at the
end of a narrow country lane on Idle Moor. The solitary house
was aptly named All Alone. Now, that house and three others
which were added to it over the years are surrounded by new
development, and although that house no longer stands in
isolation, the name has endured. The road leading to it is still
signed as ‘All Alone Road, Leading To All Alone’.
Barefoot Street (Ripon, North Yorkshire)
The name was thought to be related to barefooted monks, but
in fact, it is nothing to do with being barefoot at all. ‘Barefoot’
in this case is a corruption of ‘berford’, meaning ‘barley ford’,
so the place once had agricultural roots. Similar to how the
London district of Catford is a contraction of ‘cattle ford’, and
nothing to do with cats. According to Ben Elton, anyway.
Barf Close (Mickleover, Derbyshire)
Out of all the streets in this list, this is the only one I have personally
been to! On a trip to England in December 1996, I spotted the street
when being driven through Mickleover and set out later on a trek
through the snow to find it, just to take a photo of the sign (not the
photo shown here). But after all that, I couldn’t find any explanation
for the name. ‘Close’ means ‘field’, but ‘Barf’ I suspect is not the slang term for ‘vomit’. I suspect it was some poor schmoe's name.
Bell End (Rowley Regis, West Midlands)
The street was apparently named after a local mine, but when the rudeness of the name became apparent, house
prices in the street plummeted, kids who lived in the street started
getting bullied, and residents started getting prank phone calls. In
January 2018 a name change was proposed, but was met with opposition. In
a similar case, there is a U-shaped street in Edinburgh called
Bellenden Gardens, which basically looks like a
giant phallus. Nice one.
Bow Wow (South Cerney, Gloucestershire)
This country lane in the Cotswolds has no houses along it, so
nobody can claim it as a street address, and isn’t even a paved road
— it’s just a narrow walking path winding through the countryside.
Still, some town planner out there decided it needed a name, and
gave it a pretty strange one. Perhaps it was something to do with
walking your dog along here, who knows. But quaint street names
are common in the village of South Cerney, with Upper Up and
The Langet being two other examples.
Butthole Lane (Shepshed, Leicestershire)
This brilliant ‘rudely-named’ street is actually quite innocuous.
‘Butt’ is an Old English word for ‘target’, and it is thought medieval archers once practiced shooting at targets in the place
where this lane now is. Apparently the residents are quite
proud of the name. Good for them!
Butt Hole Road (Conisborough, Doncaster, South Yorkshire)
The same cannot be said for this road, however. The local council has no record of how it got its name, but it is thought to be named for a communal water butt (‘butt’ in this context meaning a large
cask). After a photo of the street sign was spread around
online, people began coming to Conisborough to have their
photo taken with their pants down next to it — and the sign
itself was frequently stolen. Buses began arriving with American tourists. People are kinda dumb, aren't they? Unlike the residents of Butthole Lane, the people who lived on Butt Hole Road had enough, and asked the
council to change the name. In 2009, the street was renamed
Archers Way.
Crotch Crescent (Marston, Oxfordshire)
When I first heard about this street name I assumed ‘crotch’ had
another meaning centuries ago. Apparently in the 16th century it
was a variant of ‘crutch’. Big deal. But it’s not a rude name at all —
the street was named after William Crotch (1775–1847), Professor
of Music at Oxford University.
Cup And Saucer (Cropredy, Oxfordshire)
This street is named after a medieval preaching cross near
the Cropredy village green. It’s still there, although by now
extremely weathered, and locals say it looks like a cup and
saucer — hence the street’s name.
Cock-A-Dobby (Sandhurst, Berkshire)
A highly unique name, but I found nothing on this one, including its origin
and what it actually means. Too bad. I’m guessing a little kid named it.
Dumb Woman’s Lane (Udimore, Rye, East Sussex)
This
highly unusual street name has two likely theories as to how it came
about. One is that the
lane was used by smugglers from the 14th to 19th centuries, and some
woman who ratted on them
for hiding contraband in the countryside had her tongue cut out by the
smugglers to keep her quiet. Rye was a well-known haven for sailors and
smugglers alike. It isn’t anymore – due to the changing coastline, Rye
is now about two miles from the sea. The other theory is a bit less
grim; it’s that a mute woman who sold herbal remedies lived there. Far
from being a seedy sidestreet, Dumb Woman’s Lane is in an area where
house prices are high. Spike Milligan lived on the narrow and winding
country lane until his death in 2002.
Fanny Hands Lane (Ludford, Lincolnshire)
I’m sure this one has made a few people snigger, but this is another
street named after a real person. In the early 19th century,
landowner John Hands named the street after his wife, Frances
‘Fanny’ Hands.
Ha-Ha Road (Woolwich, London)
This name comes not from a term for laughter but rather one for
a landscape design element. A ha-ha is a feature where a retaining
wall preserves the view, and is designed to be invisible, by having a
downward slope towards its base. This design feature is of French
origin, and there is a town in Quebec called Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!
(Yes, that’s how it’s spelled.) Ha-Ha Road in London runs alongside the Royal Artillery Barracks.
Pissing Alley (London)
There
were actually several lanes in medieval London with this name, and I
don’t think I need to spell out how they got them. One of them was
renamed Passing Alley; another survived the Great Fire of London
in 1666, was renamed Little Friday Street in 1848, and five years later it became part of Cannon
Street. It was labelled as ‘Pi∫∫ing Lane’ on the Civitas Londinium, the first proper map of London,
first produced in 1561 and updated around 1633.
Er, I dunno. Any ideas?
Sluts Hole Lane (Besthorpe, Norfolk)
This somewhat controversial name was thought to be a spelling mistake by census-takers in the
late Victorian era — old maps show it as being called Slutch Hole Lane, with ‘slutch’ being an old
word meaning ‘slushy’ or ‘muddy’. If it was a spelling mistake, it seems most of the residents weren’t bothered to rectify it; a residents’ petition to change the name in
1999 was opposed.
An enduring spelling error reminds me of Rednaxela Terrace, a street in the Midlevels district of Hong Kong. It was supposed to be
named after a landowner named Mr. Alexander, but since the Chinese
characters on the bilingual street signs were written right to left
back then, they did the same with the English name — so ‘Alexander’
got spelled backwards.
Snappersnipes (Westbury, Wiltshire)
There
seems to be no explanation for the name of this narrow lane, that
serves as a cut-through between two residential streets. The Wiltshire
Council records that it was previously called Snapperty Snipes Lane (a
name right out of an Enid Blyton story), and there could be a connection
with marshland, as the word ‘snape’ means marshy
ground. There is the source of a brook below Snappersnipes, so it could
be a reference to the track
that led from marshy ground to drier ground. It slopes uphill, so this
is quite plausible.
Whip-Ma-Whop-Ma-Gate (York, North Yorkshire)
A tiny street with a long and unusual name. Lots of streets have
names ending in ‘gate’, which is a corruption of the Norse word
‘gatta’ meaning ‘street’. What about the other part? It’s said to mean
‘Neither one thing nor the other’, but it could be derived from a
phrase dating back to 1505, ‘Whitnourwhatnourgate’, meaning ‘What
a street’.
Titty-Ho (Raunds, Wellingborough, Northamptonshire)
Benny Hill himself couldn’t have done better. Sadly, he didn’t name this
street, and it’s unknown who did, and why. The name has no known
history. Best I can come up with is it’s something to do with birdwatching.
The website needaproperty.com conducted a survey that said properties
on streets with rude names were expected to sell less than usual, but the
survey was proven irrelevant as some people like risqué-sounding names!
Would you want to tell people you live on Titty-Ho?
(Interestingly enough for Benny Hill though, there is a street named after
him — Benny Hill Close in Eastleigh, Hampshire, where he spent his
teenage years.
Turkey Cock Lane (Stanway, Colchester, Essex)
It sounds rude, but a turkey cock is just a male turkey. I wonder if there’s a
Turkey Hen Lane nearby to necessitate the gender distinction (no).
Gropec*** Lane (various locations)
The ultimate offensive street name, and the compound word means exactly what you think it
does; those two words didn’t have another early meaning. The name, an obvious allusion to sexual
activity, was given because medieval street names reflected their function; prostitution went on in
certain streets, and it was regulated rather than censured. In 1393 authorities restricted prostitutes
to a single street, Cokkes Lane, now known as Cock Lane.
There were several instances of this name in London alone, but also in Bristol, York, Shrewsbury,
Newcastle, Worcester, Hereford and Oxford. Most of them were in the busy part of towns (close
to the main market or high street), and at least one (in Banbury, first recorded in 1333) seems to
have been an important thoroughfare (but had been renamed Parsons Lane by 1410).
The first appearance of the name was around the year 1230, but they were all eventually bowdlerized (Grape Lane is one example), with the final one (in Shrewsbury) disappearing in 1561. The one in Oxford was renamed Magpie Lane.
