Compilation Album Review: "Smash Hits Of The '80s"

Compilation: Smash Hits Of The '80s
Released: 1989 – CBS
Number of tracks: 32
Number one singles: 12 — "Walk Like An Egyptian" by The Bangles, "I Got You" by Split Enz, "Antmusic" by Adam & The Ants, "99 Luftballons" by Nena, "Down Under" by Men At Work, "Venus" by Bananarama, "Respectable" by Mel & Kim, "I Should Be So Lucky" by Kylie Minogue, "Out Of Mind Out Of Sight" by Models, "Touch Me (I Want Your Body)" by Samantha Fox, "When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going" by Billy Ocean, "The Flame" by Cheap Trick
Other top ten singles: 16
Best track: "Walk Like An Egyptian" by The Bangles
Hidden gem: "Darling It Hurts" by Paul Kelly & The Coloured Girls

Synths! Drum machines! Sax solos! Krill! Yes, it's time for an extra heaping helping of EIGHTIES MUSIC. Good times. As you can see from the T H I C C jewelcase above, this is a double CD released by the good folks at Smash Hits mag-o-zine. I'll tell you up front there is no Dire Straits, Proclaimers or Pet Shop Boys on this release. So, what is there then?

Well, the compilers have thrown in a massive 28 tracks that made the top 10, so all of these should be recognizable if you're old enough to remember. You should know all the above listed number one singles like the back of your fingerless gloves. You'll have owned the vinyl singles for at least a few of them and danced around your bedroom like an ape, singing into your hairbrush. Don't tell me you've forgotten Adam Ant's distinctive looks, topless model-turned-'singer' Samantha Fox, Nena's massive German-language hit and the ubiquitous Stock Aitken Waterman fare?

You have? Well, you'll find very little to interest you here, so you'd better naff orf.

Right, now that they've gorne, it's time to talk about the other songs. Yazz, Wham!, Kylie, Jason and Bros were a staple (ha ha) of Smash Hits' pages. It was hard not to leaf through a copy in the late '80s and not see their fatuous features. But what about the early part of the decade? Split Enz is one name that comes to mind and "I Got You" still sounds good even now. There's Men At Work of course, a song that casts a very long shadow (whatever that might mean), and The Clash's "Rock The Casbah", all solid stuff that warrants multiple replays – but that's all you're gonna get from 1980-83. Wait, there's one more: "What I Like About You" by The Romantics which is still being used in commercials after nearly 40 years, even though it sounds like it was recorded in 1965.

What about the obscure stuff? Well, if you were going to choose 32 songs that epitomized the 1980s, it'd be a very difficult task for one, but I'd wager the likes of Kylie Mole, a character from The Comedy Company in 1988, wouldn't be among them. Don't get me wrong, she was funny – even the song itself is amusing and has a funny spoken ad-lib at the end. Someone on staff clearly had a bizarre sense of humour.

"Walk Like An Egyptian" by The Bangles is my favourite song of the '80s (though it's tough to separate it from Dire Straits' "Walk Of Life" which I wish was on here). You just have to crank the volume up when it gets to disc 2, track 4. You just...have to!!

I miss you, 1980s.

Rating: 7/10