Compilation: Hit Machine 9
Released: 1995 – Festival
Number of tracks: 20
Number one singles: 2 – "Back For Good" by Take That, "Mouth" by Merril Bainbridge
Other top ten singles: 6
Best track: "Everybody On The Floor" by Tokyo Ghetto Pussy
Hidden gem: "Old Pop In An Oak" by Rednex
Here's the second Hit Machine I found today. This one takes me back to 1995 which was my final year of high school. There were some memorable tunes that year that were not, in fact, "Gangsta's Paradise". I know, right? Hard to believe. So, bring on the nostalgia, small round plastic disc!
It opens with "Everybody On The Floor", a frenetic dance track that I thought was really rather good despite its repetitive nature. It also had an amusing video set in...some kind of weird laundromat? The German duo (Stuttgart Ghetto doesn't have the same ring to it) behind Jam & Spoon were also responsible for this, and it's a step in the right direction. This song goes hard, and even for idiots like me who can't dance, usually induces a fair bit of head-nodding and fist-pumping. Especially when I go to the laundromat, ho ho.
Next up are the odious house duo The Outhere Brothers (is it 'out here' or 'out there'? Who cares) with "Don't Stop (Wiggle Wiggle)". Said duo didn't appear in the video for this, their first single, but employed the use of stock cartoons, a trick very cleverly also used by whoever edited the "Excalibur" video for F.C.B. It's nowhere near as good a song as "Boom Boom Boom" which almost topped the charts, but is still okay (now that those iffy 'sexual' lyrics have been removed). Although this makes the song a hell of a lot shorter. And the final cry of "Beeeeyatch!" has been left in. Was this really necessary, Outhere Brothers? Whatever.
The dance-fest continues with track 3 with the ace rave-trance anthem by N-Trance, "Set You Free". They'd become best known for "Stayin' Alive" which reached no.1 later in 1995 but this is my favourite song by them. More fun memories of high school here. I still remember the bit in the video where the singer's singing while fireworks are going off behind her. Come on, get to the next song or I'll start bawlin'.
Oh, it's the Eurodance act with a very topical name in the Year of Our Lord 2021: Corona. And I reckon it's better than the song they're best known for, "The Rhythm Of The Night". But "Baby Baby" is a far superior song. It just is. The 2007 Sunblock cover (which featured the original vocalist) is really good as well.
Next is the Real McCoy with some Eurotrance. "Run Away" is perfectly passable dance muzak but it somehow lacks the deep-seated drama of "Another Night". It has a nice synth line after each verse, though. Then comes the M-People yet again with their 1,773rd single, "Open Your Heart". And no, that's not the Madonna song being covered. Just as well.
Oh boy, I'd never heard this next one until now. Rednex followed up the insanely popular (or irritating, depending on how you look at it) "Cotton Eye Joe" with "Old Pop In An Oak", which sounds pretty much identical. It has the same male vocal chorus/violins/female verse/synthesized banjo sequence. It even ends in the same way, with a solo male vocal. Actually, it's not all that bad. Melodic enough for my liking. I heard these guys were Swedish, is that true? I wonder how well these hillbilly antics were received in Scandiwegia.
I'm not a fan of either of the two chart-topping singles on here, to put it mildly. Especially "Mouth" by Merril Bainbridge. I hate that song with the fiery fury of a thousand suns. Now I didn't mind her follow-up single "Under The Water", but you would have to travel far and wide to find someone who hates "Mouth" as much as I do. The puerile and idiotic lyrics, the twee vocals and the generic rubbishy backing music make this one of the least enjoyable listening experiences ever. Thus, the Australian public, who have no taste, sent it rocketing to number 1. Even the video, with its close-ups of mouths, was something best avoided. It makes me shudder to even think about it.
I thought "Here Comes The Hotstepper" by Ini Kamoze was a bit strange when I first heard it. Like they forgot to finish the percussion part or something. And I think this is the first time I've heard "Mr. Natural" by Mental As Anything since 1995. It's pretty good! Sadly these guys have ceased all future activities with the death of 'Greedy' Smith in 2019, and "Mr. Natural" was their final single to make the top 40.
Another band scoring their final hit on here is the Divinyls with "I'm Jealous", which got to number 14. It's not a bad song and did pretty well, but would prove to be their final appearance on the chart. "I might kick her face in" is a nice line, too.
My second-favourite song on here is "Digging The Grave" by Faith No More, a much darker song than the two singles chosen to lead off their previous two albums. King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime is one helluva'n album, though I was disappointed to see guitarist Jim Martin had left the band – he was such a big part of their sound. Dean Menta is an ace guitarist though. Hey, FNM are track 14 on here, which they also were on Smash Hits '95. How fascinating.
Hmm, "You Suck" by The Murmurs is on here. The Murmurs suck. I remember back in 1995, standing at the counter of the Echo Chamber, a music shop in Carousel (a shopping centre in Perth), paying for a CD, when some kid comes up to the counter and asks another girl behind the counter, "Do you have 'You Suck'?" No other info, they (can't remember if it was a boy or a girl) just said that. And the girl behind the counter goes "You Suck?" and the kid replied "You Suck". And the girl told them no. Although I'd wager there were about 39,998 unsold cassingles under a dead kipper gathering dust in the back room.
Anyway, "You Suck" is a crappy song. It is also responsible for the "Contains offensive language" warning on the cover. Also, they didn't censor the swearing in this song, or in the printed lyrics either. (Maybe that's why the Echo Chamber didn't want to sell it to that kid.) But wait, they did print the swear word in the Heather Nova track, but used the version where the line was changed? I don't know what the rules are anymore!
The final song on here is "No More I Love Youse" by Annie Lennox. No, she hasn't become an Australian bogan. Not that I'm aware of. That is just the facetious way I spelled the title of "No More 'I Love You's". It's actually a cover, which I only just found out. What the hell is going on with that demented laughter in the middle eight? Did the producers think it was 'funny' and just leave it in? Such are the mysteries of life, my friend. I wish you all the best on your journey.
Except the Murmurs. They suck.
Rating: 6/10
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