The Tokyo Olympics. Remember it? It was going to get cancelled. But it wasn't. It's going ahead after all. And for some reason they are still being called the 2020 Olympics, not the 2021 Olympics. Don't ask me why.
Of course, tonight's opening will not be typical, but is still eagerly anticipated. So, just what has Japan done? Let's go see. I'm going to watch the opening ceremony of the Games of the XXXII Olympiad – so you don't have to! Ikuze!
July 23, 8:00pm [Japan time]. The stadium looks very strange with no crowds, and no noise either.
8:03. An opening video montage shows the athletes' training and development, going back to 2013 when Tokyo was announced as the host for 2020. I was surprised the chronology didn't really reference the COVID-19 pandemic at all, aside from two brief shots of a deserted Tokyo intersection. But they're going to have to address this issue at some point during the next 4 hours, I'd say.
8:04. The countdown ends with an aerial shot of the stadium lit up, looking like a zero. Neat.
8:08. A dance routine involving red ropes, representing the human body's circulatory system. I'm sure all of this was drastically scaled back; we can only wonder what was originally planned for this performance.
8:14. Introduction of the Emperor. But instead of showing him, they just cut to some random dude in a suit, with a mask on.
Wait – that IS the Emperor. My mistake. Gomennasai. Please do not have me exiled to Kyushu for my insolence.
8:20. Tempting though it is to make a joke about how Morning Musume or Godiego should have sung the Japanese national anthem, I'll...completely fail to resist the temptation, apparently. The singer MISIA does the honours here, and I vaguely remember her name from my days living in Japan 20 years ago (it's actually 20 years exactly on August 5, if you care to know).
8:25. The moment of silence shows that there are people in the audience (most likely officials), but they have remained largely silent. Apparently TV1 in New Zealand saw fit to run an ad during the brief silence. C'mon Kiwis, just because you did so well during this pandemic doesn't mean you can disrespect the dead. You used to be cool, 'bro'!
8:26. The next routine consists of Edo-jidai carpenters and some rhythmic drumming. This is another bit that has had its effect dulled by the lack of audience, but the performers gave it their all.
8:29. A male tap-dancer does a solo dance, eliciting the first polite applause so far. I guess that's what the youth™ are into these days.
8:33. The five Olympic rings, made of wood, are moved into position on a large mechanical frame. The wood was from trees planted by athletes at the Tokyo games in 1964. The rings have been rendered in different ways over the years, so this bare-wood Muji-esque iteration seems to demonstrate the concept of wabi-sabi, which is highly treasured and sought for in the Japanese Arts.
8:41. The orchestra starts up, and now the athletes enter in the Parade of Nations. Dare I sit through the whole thing? Greece enters first as per usual, and then the Refugee Olympic Team, and then the rest of them in katakana order.
8:43. Nice to see the Irish team bow in unison to the line of Japanese dancers as they entered – and the greeting was returned.
8:46. The signs bearing the countries' names in romaji and katakana look like manga speech balloons.
8:53. Italy look pretty hyped – well, they did win Euro 2020 twelve days ago and Eurovision two months ago...
9:08. The orchestra is playing the Star Light Zone theme from the very first Sonic the Hedgehog game (which came out 30 years ago!), a.k.a. the Dreams Come True song "Kusuriyubi no Kesshin". Ace! This snippet of music, probably my favourite Sonic level theme, almost did the job of an actual Sonic appearance here. Well, he is one of Japan's most famous modern cultural exports, after all.
9:30. Because Russia was banned for doping, the Russian Olympic Committee enter with the Olympic flag. If any of them win a gold medal, Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1 will play instead of the Russian national anthem. It now occurs to me that there is a list somewhere of songs played in lieu of the anthem of banned nations, and I must see this list. Australia's replacement song just has to be this.
9:44. I still can't figure out why the Japanese names for Switzerland and Thailand are Suisu and Tai, respectively. They included the '-land' in the katakana renderings of Iceland, Ireland and Finland, so what gives? Can you figure it out, multiple question marks???
9:48. Star Light Zone music again! Ah, the nostalgia. If they could now crank out "Zankoku na Tenshi no Teize", they will have made my night. (Later note: As it turns out, all the music being played in this medley is from video games! Apart from Sonic, there's also music from such games as Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts and Chrono Trigger. So there you go.)
10:36. The Japanese athletes enter. Kudos to the organizers, they have achieved a lot in a time of immense adversity. And that's all 205 nations. No sign of North Korea at all.
10:50. 1,824 drones form the chequered Tokyo 2020 emblem in lights in the night sky, and they then form a globe of the world, as John Lennon's "Imagine" is sung for the 5th time at an Olympic opening ceremony. (I'd suggest they give this song a go.) Amazing use of drones there – the globe in the sky was beautifully done.
(As an aside: I had hoped that the zeroes and O's in the logo would appear as red circles like on the Japanese flag, as they were shown at the end of the 2016 Rio games. But it seems they changed their mind about that.)
11:19. I'm getting tired...it's now after midnight in Melbourne. The Olympic flag is now being brought in...but who will light the flame? Naomi Osaka? Osamu Tezuka? Doraemon?? I told my old uni mate Ben that I'll be disappointed if Pikachu doesn't appear in this ceremony, and he said "And if the Olympic flame isn't lit by a Charizard, I'm out."
11:30. The way the graphic symbols of the 50 events were acted out with actors, props and camera angles was really cool!
11:38. Pianist Hiromi plays super fast while a kabuki actor strides the stage, at the base of a stepped pyramid-thingy. It finished with the kabuki guy giving a demented stare right at the camera. What's going on here? I have no idea, but it's great.
11:42. The Olympic flame enters into the stadium (hey, that's a pleonasm), soundtracked by Maurice Ravel's "Boléro".
11:47. A doctor and a nurse do one leg of the final torch run. Hooray for frontline medical workers everywhere!
11:53. Tennis player Naomi Osaka lights the cauldron, which sits at the top of the aforementioned pyramid (later note: I think it's meant to represent Mt. Fuji). The cauldron resembles a chrysanthemum (or is it an orchid?).
Midnight. And that's it! The flame is lit, the flags are flying, the fireworks have gone off. The majority of athletes have been bussed back to the Olympic Village, where the tatami have been swept clean, the plates of fresh takoyaki and cups of hot amazake have been laid out on the dining tables, and the relentless parapara J-Pop is being pumped out over the speakers in tentative anticipation of 16 days of the pursuit of Olympic glory.
I've already been hearing the inevitable whinging about how the ceremony was too sombre, too minimal, and not a single mention of Doctor Slump or Catbus. But really, what more could they have done? Ever since that archer shot a flaming arrow to light the cauldron at Barcelona 1992, opening ceremonies have been getting more and more extravagant to the point where they have become, in the main, a tourism promotion for the host nation. As well as promoting sporting ideals they also take the chance to showcase the iconography and emblems of their country.
Of course, the Tokyo organizers were severely limited in the scope of what they could do. I'm sure from the moment they won the hosting rights 8 years ago, they would've had all sorts of extravagant and wacky ideas. Such as sushi rolls being shot out of the exhaust pipe of a Nissan Fairlady Z being driven by Mario, a kappa, and the cast of Monkey to the strains of Shonen Knife's "Watchin' Girl". Well, it would have been like that if I had been on the planning committee, anyway.
