Welcome back to my blog for 2024, friends. It's the blog's 15th year, so I promise to make more than three posts to celebrate this 'landmark' year.
The folks at Transperth decided to make public transport – buses, trains and ferries – free for SmartRider holders from Christmas Eve to most of January. Their spokesperson said it was because they get less customers this time of year, but yours truly reckons it's because they're about to 'transition' to a new credit-card-based payment system and will probably 'roll' it out when the free travel time is over. So I thought I'd milk it make best use of this generous offer to see certain suburbs that people have been crowing about. Do they measure up to the hype?
First up is Hillarys, which I visited on New Year's Day. I used to occasionally come to the boardwalk here as a teenager. The boardwalk is still there, but it has been redeveloped a bit, prompted by a fire that destroyed six of the shops (and apparently part of the boardwalk as well) in June 2003. There's now a water play park there. It's meant to be for kids, but was soon taken over by smarmy teenagers. Luckily, one of them spontaneously combusted while underwater and I managed to catch the moment on camera.
Next up is Fremantle. Freo is a great place. I used to hang out there when I was doing work experience at the Maritime Museum. Lots of historical buildings, but the historical signage is just as interesting. Here's an old painted advertisement for MacRobertson's Freddo Chocolate Frogs, at the entrance to the markets.
And one that was most likely painted in 1983 – the boxing kangaroo emblem holding a can of Swan Lager. "It's a symbol of fascism", quoth one passer-by. Well I never.
Right, next on my travels I hit up the bohemian enclave of Maylands, next stop but one from both 'Baysie' (Bayswater) and 'Basso' (Bassendean) on the Midland line. Despite having no dumb shortened name, it can hold its own in the hipster stakes, although if you're not out to pose on the coffee strip you had better go peddle your Matt Damon aspirations elsewhere, matey.
Hey, I found this ancient knocker on someone's door that's shaped like a hand. This alone makes the trip to Maylands worth it (although the riverside area is meant to be nice, too. I didn't see it though, it was 40 degrees that day).
Why is there no one in this coffee shop?
Weary from my other pursuits, I now arrive in Bayswater, home of no bay and no water. The best thing here was a hand-painted message outside someone's house:
Brilliant. NO FRIVOLITY is going to be my motto for 2024. Also, is that the Ukrainian flag?
There are some interesting patterns and designs on shop-front ceramic tiles if you make the effort to look. I found another one but you'll just make crude references to genitalia so I'm not posting it.
Remember Rolf Harris? Up until ten years ago he was a Perth icon, one of the few people to emerge from this city that people could, and did, brag about. Then he was convicted of being an old perv, and his career was over. His TV shows will never again be rebroadcast and his albums line the record bins of op shops. His death in May 2023 at the age of 93 went largely unnoticed by the media. But most people in Perth know that the suburb of Bassendean was where he grew up. Perhaps you'd see him on occasion heading to the Bassendean pharmacy with his wobble board or whatever. There are a few dodgy shop fronts there but I'm afraid that's about it.
And this, whatever this is.
Rockingham next. Here's that print shop I posted last time. No extraneous text, just PRINT. If you're ever in Rockingham just stroll in there and say "One PRINT please". Then get ready to book it as they'll probably come after you with a 12-bore. I also like the idea of that blank space on the wall with nothing in it. Because nothing says "Come to my print shop" like a big white circle.
To the far north of the metro area we go, Joondalup to be precise. To be honest, I didn't see any of it other than the Lakeside shopping centre there, which the train takes you directly to. I did walk around the outside a bit, but the only photo worth posting here was of this big orange ball outside the centre. Ain't it lovely.
And finally we come to Claremont. This was a thriving nightlife area until it got a really bad reputation in 1996 when the Claremont serial killer came to light. One of the women who disappeared was seen in an infamous bit of grainy CCTV footage right outside the Claremont Hotel, shown here. Although at that time, the place was called Club Bay View. Another misnomer. My first high school reunion was held there in 2005. The area is well covered by CCTV now, don't you worry about that.
But hunting grounds of serial killers aside, here's the most interesting thing I discovered about Claremont. Take a look at this building. What would you say it is? A church, perhaps?
Nope – it's a library! To be fair, it was originally a Methodist church, built in 1922. But after the infamous 'Night of the Long Tinnies' which preceded the bloody and brutal Methodist purges of 1978, the building reopened as a library in January 1979. And they vowed never to speak of the purges again. In fact just forget I just mentioned them.
The choir loft at the back, or is it the pulpit, or where the organist used to sit? Church nomenclature is not my strong point. Note the stained glass windows with memorials on them. They are all to people with the same surname. One for a boy who died a hundred years ago aged nearly 2, the other for two men who went to fight in the Great War and never came back.
BONUS ROUND
One last surprise for you. Here's a photo of the so-called Shark Rock, in McDougall Park in Manning, where I used to play as a kid, and is still within walking distance of where I live now. See that rock? It kind of looks like a shark's head. Personally I think it looks more like a dog's head. But whatever. You project whatever you want onto it. I'm not gonna tell you one way or the other. But for all the years I went to this park, I never knew about Shark Rock until last Friday. And apparently people have written reviews of it online. So take the family down to see Shark Rock of an evening. Top night out.
All photos are ©2024 by me, in conjunction with the SHERRY MONOCLE Corporation, in association with Dunderheaded Velocipede Seats and the Utterly Inanely Named Crew.
