November 6, 2019
Compilation Album Review: "Smash Hits '96"
Compilation: Smash Hits '96
Released: 1996 – Columbia / Sony Music Australia
Number of tracks: 20
Number one singles: 1 – "Wonderwall" by Oasis
Other top ten singles: 7
Best track: "Apple Eyes" by Swoop
Hidden gem: "B.G. Tips – You Should Be Dancing" by E-Sensual
This is the fifth compilation I've found that was put together by dearly departed pop music magazine Smash Hits (Australian edition, 1984–2007), which I was a reader of from 1990 to 1996. I was only going to go as far as 1995 for my retro compilation collecting, but several of the tracks on here I associate with 1995 and probably charted into 1996, so it's a borderline case. And it only cost $1.45, so it's all systems go! As they say.
It opens unconventionally with "Peaches" by The Presidents Of The United States Of America, a song which has a great video, and a band I like, but it's not my favourite song by them; it seems a bit too long and meandering, and it lacks the punch and lyrical oddballness of their previous single "Lump" (which had charted at number 11, two places higher than "Peaches").
There's one-third Australian content with tracks by CDB, Human Nature (I can never distinguish those two, backing music-wise), Deni Hines, Peter Andre, Tina Arena, Hoodoo Gurus and A.K. Soul. The Hoodoos are the best of this bunch and the rest don't really stand out to me for whatever reason.
"Wonderwall" by Oasis is the sole number 1 single on here, and it's not a song I was all that fond of. People have raved about it, and it topped the Australian charts (for just one week – funny, I thought it was there for much longer) but I just wasn't into it. They followed it up with "Don't Look Back In Anger" which in my opinion is a far superior song.
The Coolio track "1, 2, 3, 4 (Sumpin' New)" has words like "ass" censored out of it – no idea why as Smash Hits never did so in the magazine itself – and it's a bit too atonal for my liking. I can't believe he followed up one of the biggest singles of the '90s with this rubbish.
A few of the well-known dance tracks of the day are here, including two instrumental hits, "Children" by Robert Miles (number 5) and "X-Files Theme" by Triple X (number 2). I never really was a fan of "Children" but it is a somewhat haunting and well-composed piece, and while the Triple X track is certainly atmospheric, it's basically just the X-Files theme sped up with a techno beat and a voice that sounds suspiciously like Dr. Robotnik from the Sonic The Hedgehog cartoons saying the show's name a few times.
Lastly I've got to mention "Macarena", and thankfully it's the Los Del Mar cover version that appears here, which is sung entirely in Spanish. It peaked at number 2 for three weeks in September 1996, stuck behind the irritating-as-buggery Los Del Rio version with those inane English lyrics. I hate that song. The Los Del Mar one is a bit easier on the ears, and so I give an extra 0.437 of a point to whoever the compiler was who chose that instead. ¡Gracias!
Rating: 5.437/10
September 24, 2019
Compilation Album Review: "100% Hits Volume 11"
Here's the latest entry in my series of reviews for compilation albums from the '90s that I have bought second-hand and at least two decades after its release! Picked this one up today for a dollar. Let's go back a quarter-century, folks.
Compilation: 100% Hits, Volume 11
Released: 1994 – Warner Music Australia
Number of tracks: 18
Number one singles: 3 – "Give It Up" by Cut 'N' Move, "It's Alright" by East 17, "Asshole" by Denis Leary
Other top ten singles: 2
Best track: "What's My Name?" by Snoop Doggy Dogg
Hidden gem: "Nails In My Feet" by Crowded House
The eleventh entry in the long-running 100% Hits series, this compilation has a fair bit of filler at the back end, but it's not a bad listen. It starts, oddly enough, with Snoop Doggy Dogg's "What's My Name?", which is the only song I like by him, before it gets to the first two above-mentioned number ones. I think pop music in 1994 saw a general decline in quality to previous years – sappy love ballads were everywhere – but thankfully there aren't too many here. Thanks to D:Ream and Melodie MC (the rap lyrics in "Dum Da Dum" are bloody awful, aren't they?), it's mostly upbeat. Frankie Goes To Hollywood's "Relax MCMXCIII" is included as well, and I'm not too familiar with the original version, so I can't tell if it's a remix or a re-recording.
Now to the filler and non-charting tracks. This is where the title "100% Hits" becomes a bit of a misnomer. The Crowded House track, which I had never heard of, sounds a lot like "Fall At Your Feet" but is actually a rather nice song. I have a new-found appreciation for them after I recently learned how to play "Weather With You" on guitar, that I didn't have in the '90s. Gary Sweet covers a Billy Thorpe and the Aztecs song from the '70s, and then there's one of those songs about sport/sportspeople that are best avoided. In this case it's some bloke called Doug Parkinson who I'd never heard of, but he's a singer who started in the '60s and here he's singing about some cricket player. You would have to travel far and wide to find someone who hates cricket more than I do, so you can probably guess my feelings on this.
But then! It finishes with number 1 hit "Asshole", the song that won Triple J's Hottest 100 poll in 1993, and the swearing is left in! I wonder if this was intentional, because the 'clean version' of the Snoop track is used (and the word 'bitch' gets censored). Whoever was responsible for this is a legend.
Rating: 6/10
Compilation: 100% Hits, Volume 11
Released: 1994 – Warner Music Australia
Number of tracks: 18
Number one singles: 3 – "Give It Up" by Cut 'N' Move, "It's Alright" by East 17, "Asshole" by Denis Leary
Other top ten singles: 2
Best track: "What's My Name?" by Snoop Doggy Dogg
Hidden gem: "Nails In My Feet" by Crowded House
The eleventh entry in the long-running 100% Hits series, this compilation has a fair bit of filler at the back end, but it's not a bad listen. It starts, oddly enough, with Snoop Doggy Dogg's "What's My Name?", which is the only song I like by him, before it gets to the first two above-mentioned number ones. I think pop music in 1994 saw a general decline in quality to previous years – sappy love ballads were everywhere – but thankfully there aren't too many here. Thanks to D:Ream and Melodie MC (the rap lyrics in "Dum Da Dum" are bloody awful, aren't they?), it's mostly upbeat. Frankie Goes To Hollywood's "Relax MCMXCIII" is included as well, and I'm not too familiar with the original version, so I can't tell if it's a remix or a re-recording.
Now to the filler and non-charting tracks. This is where the title "100% Hits" becomes a bit of a misnomer. The Crowded House track, which I had never heard of, sounds a lot like "Fall At Your Feet" but is actually a rather nice song. I have a new-found appreciation for them after I recently learned how to play "Weather With You" on guitar, that I didn't have in the '90s. Gary Sweet covers a Billy Thorpe and the Aztecs song from the '70s, and then there's one of those songs about sport/sportspeople that are best avoided. In this case it's some bloke called Doug Parkinson who I'd never heard of, but he's a singer who started in the '60s and here he's singing about some cricket player. You would have to travel far and wide to find someone who hates cricket more than I do, so you can probably guess my feelings on this.
But then! It finishes with number 1 hit "Asshole", the song that won Triple J's Hottest 100 poll in 1993, and the swearing is left in! I wonder if this was intentional, because the 'clean version' of the Snoop track is used (and the word 'bitch' gets censored). Whoever was responsible for this is a legend.
Rating: 6/10
August 19, 2019
Compilation Album Review: "Smash Hits '89"
Compilation: Smash Hits '89
Released: 1989 – CBS
Number of tracks: 17
Number one singles: 1 – "Eternal Flame" by The Bangles (though the chart info supplied states 3, as according to the Kent Music Report — alternate chart to ARIA)
Other top ten singles: 12
Best track: "Buffalo Stance" by Neneh Cherry
Hidden gem: "Hurricane" by James Freud
The last year of the eighties, according to Australia's best and brightest pop magazine, as they liked to describe themselves. Well, it's a varied bunch. You can rock out with Poison ("Fallen Angel), Mental As Anything ("Rock And Roll Music") or Indecent Obsession ("Say Goodbye"), or wuss out with Kylie Minogue, Jason Donovan or New Kids On The Block. But the wussy stuff is just as important as the rockin' stuff. Not only does it provide some contrast (you don't really want to listen to 65 minutes of squealing guitars do you? And if so, please seek help now), but it's all about painting the picture of the pop landscape that prevailed at the time.
I owned a single issue of Smash Hits from 1989. I didn't buy it new, I picked it up in some second hand shop somewhere just out of curiosity. It had Kate Ceberano on the cover who I think was reviewing the singles. Anyway, it was interesting to see what was dominating the charts in the last few months before the start of 1990 when I became an avid chart follower (and Smash Hits reader soon after). I miss those times!
Rating: 6/10
May 26, 2019
My Favourite Eurovision Entries by Country
In keeping with the Eurovision theme, here is a list of each country that has participated in the Eurovision Song Contest since it began in 1956, and my favourite song each of them has entered. (I'm hardly what you'd call an expert on the entire history of the Contest, but I have watched it each year since 1998.)
ALBANIA
"Ktheju Tokës" — Jonida Maliqi, 2019 (17th place)
A very unusual song, but one of the highlights of this year. I must confess I'm not familiar with many of Albania's 16 entries to date, but it was refreshing to hear a song in their language this year (I'm all for countries using their own language instead of English – that's why I started watching Eurovision in the first place).
ANDORRA
I have nothing for tiny Andorra...sorry! They have only appeared at Eurovision 6 times (2004-09), and have never qualified for a final. It appears further appearances are unlikely, unfortunately. Their entries were always performed, in whole or in part, in Catalan.
ARMENIA
"Not Alone" — Aram MP3, 2014 (4th place)
This song had a great EDM sound. One of the few highlights of 2014. It also equalled Armenia's best ever result.
AUSTRALIA
"Zero Gravity" — Kate Miller-Heidke, 2019 (9th place)
Out of Australia's five Eurovision appearances, I think this song is the best. Even without the elaborate staging (swaying on a bendy pole), it's a powerful song, about a serious subject (coming out of depression). It has a great bassline, and the coda is brilliant as well. I would have liked to see it place higher, but 9th place is a respectable result.
AUSTRIA
"Weil Der Mensch Zählt" — Alf Poier, 2003 (6th place)
This is my all-time favourite Eurovision song. It might seem a bit weird given its subject matter (go read a translation of the lyrics now) and staging, but it has several things going for it: 1. It's sung by a comedian. 2. The sharp contrast between the 'hard rock' bits and the poppier parts. 3. He sings it in his native dialect. 4. The choruses sound like the jollying Eurovision singalongs of old. 5. The title doesn't really have a connection to the lyrics. I can't believe it came 6th, but I'm not complaining.
AZERBAIJAN
"Running Scared" — Ell & Nikki, 2011 (Winner)
I had to rely on Wikipedia for this one – Azerbaijan hasn't stuck in my memory as far as its entries go, but I definitely remember this winning song. I should have remembered them more; they ranked in the top 8 in their first 6 appearances!
BELARUS
"My Galileo" — Aleksandra & Konstantin, 2004 (SF 19th place)
An unconventional choice – my fave song Belarus has ever entered is one that didn't even make the final and was one of the lowest-ranked songs that year. I really like it though, even though I can't make out all of the lyrics. It's just a really nice pop song with folk sounds blended in.
BELGIUM
"Sanomi" — Urban Trad, 2003 (2nd place)
I was really hoping this song, sung in nonsense lyrics, would win in 2003. Tough competition that year, including my all-time fave (see Austria), but a great result nonetheless. Also, the lead singer looked a lot like Victoria Beckham. Unlike Victoria though, she had singing talent.
BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA
"Bistra Voda" — Regina, 2009 (9th place)
Bosnia & Herzegovina has a classy Eurovision record, submitting fine songs that show they take it seriously. I loved Dino Merlin's "Love In Rewind" from 2011 which finished 6th, but I think "Bistra Voda" has the edge on it; it's a powerful song.
BULGARIA
"DJ, Take Me Away" — Deep Zone & Balthazar, 2008 (SF 11th place)
I loved this blast of EDM – a very modern sound with tempo shifts and some great instrumental breaks. It never made the 2008 final which was a big disappointment for me (yeah, I'll get over it someday).
CROATIA
"Marija Magdalena" — Doris Dragovic, 1999 (4th place)
Pop music with a folk twist. Some great vocals. Croatia usually comes up with good stuff and this is their best result, equalling their 4th place in 1996.
CYPRUS
"Femme Fatale" — Evdoki Kadi, 2008 (2SF 15th place)
One of the few entries I've liked from Cyprus, this is the best of a so-so bunch. It's not sung in English though so that's a bonus!
CZECH REPUBLIC
"Friend Of A Friend" — Lake Malawi, 2019 (11th place)
Great sound – I was hoping these guys would do better. They wuz robbed in the popular vote, says I. But I'll czech out their other songs too. My second-favourite song this year.
DENMARK
"Love Is Forever" — Leonora, 2019 (12th place)
Denmark have a long Eurovision history but this year's entry was the best song I've heard by them – it was sung mostly in English but three other different languages got a few lines too, which is always good. I thought Denmark's winning entry in 2000 was a bit rubbish to be honest.
ESTONIA
"Rockefeller Street" — Getter Jaani, 2011 (24th place)
Damn, how could this only rank 24th? But then 2011 was a high-quality year. This was my fave from that year, a stomping bit of hard dance. Brilliant! By the way, there is no such Manhattan address as 1273 Rockefeller Street; I made sure to check when I was there.
FINLAND
"Hard Rock Hallelujah" — Lordi, 2006 (Winner)
Even without the monster masks, this will forever be known as the entry that brought hard rawk back to the Eurovision stage. The Scandinavians know how to ROK, that's for sure.
FRANCE
"Un, Deux, Trois" — Catherine Ferry, 1976 (2nd place)
France was a real Eurovision powerhouse in its early years and the nation has a rich and proud musical tradition – '60s and '70s French pop is great! However, songs sung in French, once a fixture at the top end of the Eurovision scoreboard, aren't often to be seen up there in recent years. The last one to take out the prize was Switzerland in 1988, before that Belgium in 1986, Luxembourg last did it in 1983, and the French themselves haven't won since 1977 – not once in my entire lifetime. I'm gonna go with a song from the classic era, a good example of how catchy French pop could be.
GEORGIA
"Midnight Gold" — Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz, 2016 (20th place)
A very Britpop-sounding song with unusual lyrics. Great bass! Very underrated in coming 20th.
GERMANY
"Ein Bißchen Frieden" — Nicole, 1982 (Winner)
One of the all-time best – an honest and earnest song pleading for peace. A beautiful song. I think there might be versions in other languages; the German version is the best one. It stood as Germany's only winning song for 28 years.
GREECE
"Watch My Dance" — Loukas Giorkas & Stereo Mike, 2011 (7th place)
Greek entries all tend to sound similar; not that they're bad, it just makes it harder to distinguish "My Number One" from "Secret Combination" from "Aphrodisiac" from...you get the idea. (They even entered a song called "OPA!" one year. Get the picture?) This 2011 entry had Greek instruments and a familiar feel to it, but broke up the formula by having rap verses in English before shifting into a chorus in Greek with an unconventional tempo (I think in every line of the chorus it's 4 beats per bar except the final bar which has 6 beats?). Anyway, it's great.
HUNGARY
"Forogj, Világ!" — NOX, 2005 (12th place)
That's a terrible band name, but the song makes up for it. Hungary aren't exactly prolific at Eurovision; this song was their comeback after a 6-year absence.
ICELAND
"Congratulations" — Silvia Night, 2006 (SF 13th place)
I don't think a lot of people liked Silvia Night when she performed at the 2006 semi-final (and failed to qualify) – but she didn't exactly endear herself to the audience and the Greek media. The song itself isn't bad – a few funny lines (and probably the only Eurovision song to contain the 'F-word'), but I have to wonder if it was all a stunt.
IRELAND
"Lipstick" — Jedward, 2011 (8th place)
Ireland have more Eurovision wins than anyone else, and to be honest I don't like any of 'em. All that maudlin Irish balladry makes you want to kill yourself. However, there are a lot more interesting entries they've had than those seven winning songs, and I rate "Lipstick" pretty high for its sheer energy. No reminiscing here, just a strong performance.
ISRAEL
"A-Ba-Ni-Bi" — Izhar Cohen & Alphabeta, 1978 (Winner)
This song won in the year I was born. It was also Israel's first win, and changed the musical landscape in a way too. It also [citation needed] proved that people other than shady Manhattan drug dealers could have an afro. Combine Hebrew wordplay with disco sounds and you're onto a winner!
ITALY
"Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu (Volare)" — Domenico Modugno, 1958 (3rd place)
Italy have a fine tradition of song competitions and, despite their absence from Eurovision from 1998 until 2010, still proved they are a force to be reckoned with, coming 2nd twice and 3rd once since their 2011 comeback. I have to pick "Volare" as their finest moment, even though it didn't give them a victory. But thanks to Dean Martin, it has become one of the best-known Italian songs of all time.
LATVIA
"I Wanna" — Marie N, 2002 (Winner)
The 2002 Contest was the only one I watched late, because I had been living in Japan that year and couldn't see it on TV. When I got home in August, I watched it on videotape. This is the only song I remember from that year – Marie N's costume changes during the song were quite skilfully done and helped implant it in voters' minds.
LITHUANIA
"We Are The Winners" — LT United, 2006 (6th place)
Yeah, this one was good. I was actually hoping it would win, given the title. 6th place isn't bad though – if it came in the bottom 5 that would be another story.
LUXEMBOURG
"Poupée De Cire, Poupée De Son" — France Gall, 1965 (Winner)
Luxembourg were at Eurovision from the start, only missing it one year (1959) before withdrawing. They have not participated since 1993. In those early years they were a force, winning five times. This is one of my top picks for best Eurovision song ever: a a classic piece of mid-'60s Franco-pop, and the first Eurovision winner that wasn't a ballad.
MACEDONIA, NORTH
"Ninanajna" — Elena Risteska, 2006 (12th place)
Back when they were called the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, this song did pretty well for itself. Onomatopoeic lyrics tend to be looked down upon these days (it's a long way from the days of "boom bang-a-bang", "bem bom" and "ring ding-a-ding"), but I didn't mind it in this case.
MALTA
"Vodka" — Morena, 2008 (2SF 14th place)
Is this song really about boozing it up? "Vodka, I want it so bad", etc.? Who knows. It's a good song though, and one that really should have made the final in the lacklustre 2008 Contest.
MOLDOVA
"Boonika Bate Doba" — Zdob Si Zdub, 2005 (6th place)
Call me ignorant, but I actually hadn't heard of Moldova until Eurovision 2005. It was a great Contest that year (I bought the CD, only time I've ever done so) and this was my fave song from that year. Zdob Si Zdub are a great 'gypsy punk' band and I've kept up with their new tracks since then – this year they released a cool song called "India Ma Cheama". A high-energy performance with a drumming granny. In 2017 Moldova got their best result with "Hey, Mamma!" which came 3rd – another great song.
MONACO
"La Coco-Dance" — Séverine Ferrer, 2006 (SF 21st place)
The microstate of Monaco has an extensive Eurovision history, participating almost from the start. They have come 3rd three times, 2nd once, and their sole win was in 1971. Unfortunately, I have only heard a couple of Monaco entries, because they were absent from the Contest from 1980 until 2003. This entry of theirs from 2006, an upbeat Caribbean-style number, would turn out to be Monaco's final appearance at Eurovision.
MONTENEGRO
"Euro Neuro" — Rambo Amadeus, 2012 (1SF 15th place)
This song was a bit of a laugh – it almost comes off as a comedy song. However, forced rhyming aside, it had some nice instrumentation to it. You've also gotta love the way Rambo (!) enunciates the words "monetary breakdance".
MOROCCO
"Bitaqat Khub" — Samira Bensaid, 1980 (18th place)
Well, Morocco has only competed in Eurovision once, so I guess it has to be this song! The only entry to come from Africa, it provided a bit of Middle Eastern flavour to the Contest. I've only just listened to it on Youtube and it's not bad – it's a shame Morocco wanted no further part after this.
THE NETHERLANDS
"Arcade" — Duncan Laurence, 2019 (Winner)
The Netherlands have so many entries – it's hard to pick just one, especially when I've only heard a handful of them. I can't say any one Dutch entry has made much of an impact on me, so I'll go with this year's entry, because I still remember the tune pretty well. And it's notable for ending a 44-year winning drought. Can you believe these guys failed to qualify for the final for 8 years straight?
NORWAY
"Fairytale" — Alexander Rybak, 2009 (Winner)
The dude playing the violin, remember him? Yeah.
POLAND
"Love Song" — Blue Café, 2004 (17th place)
Poland's best result (2nd place) was in their debut year (1994). They haven't exactly shone at Eurovision since. Still, this effort was pretty good. Go check out the video and see what the singer Tatiana is wearing. See what I mean?
PORTUGAL
"Dança Comigo" — Sabrina, 2007 (SF 11th place)
There's no doubt Portugal's win in 2017 was a landmark for them, their first Eurovision success after no less than 49 attempts. I actually like this traditional-sounding dance number from a decade earlier but it didn't make the final.
ROMANIA
"The Balkan Girls" — Elena Gheorghe, 2009 (19th place)
Romanian is a nice-sounding language – I'm not sure if a Romanian version of this song exists, so I've only heard the English version. The lyrics in the verses are a bit twee, but it's a good song nevertheless. The synth chords in the chorus give a warm, cruising feel despite its upbeat nature.
RUSSIA
"Song No.1" — Serebro, 2007 (3rd place)
Serebro went on to have a number of hit singles in Europe, all of them better than Russia's winning song in 2008...
SAN MARINO
"Say Na Na Na" — Serhat, 2019 (19th place)
Hey, it's little San Marino, who have participated 10 times to date. I always secretly hope the smaller and lesser-known countries make the final. They have qualified for the final only twice, and this song gave them their best-ever result. Good on yer, San Marino.
SERBIA
"Cipela" — Marko Kon & Milan Nikolic, 2009 (2SF 10th place)
Serbia of course had a massive win in 2007 with "Molitva", another good song, but I prefer the upbeat numbers, so I chose this. And there's nothing you can do about it, matey!
SLOVAKIA
Slovakia have only entered Eurovision 7 times out of 64. I've got nothing here – sorry.
SLOVENIA
"Hvala, Ne!" — Lea Sirk, 2018 (22nd place)
This was really cool – and yet it only placed 22nd on the night of the final! For shame, people. I did like that bit in the semi-final performance when she pretended the musical backup was lost.
SPAIN
"La Venda" — Miki, 2019 (22nd place)
I'm not usually enamoured by Spain's entries in the 22 Eurovisions I've seen, but I really liked this one. The best thing Spain has entered in ages – and it only came 22nd! Come on, people. Spain is the country with the longest Eurovision winning drought: 50 years, and counting. Right behind them are Monaco (48 years) and then France (42 years).
SWEDEN
"Waterloo" — ABBA, 1974 (Winner)
An obvious choice, isn't it? ABBA and the whole disco era is a bit before my time, but this still stand out, 45 years later, as a landmark in Eurovision history. It's not my favourite ABBA song (that'd be "Super Trouper" if'n ya must know) but it's a well-crafted song that launched a long career and one of the most recognizable sounds to ever come out of Sweden.
TURKEY
"For Real" — Athena, 2004 (4th place)
An appealing upbeat piece of ska which earned a good result in the first year that Eurovision had a semi-final. These guys sounded a lot like Moldova's Zdob Si Zdub from the following year (or I should say Zdob Si Zdub had a similar sound to them) – another entry I loved.
UNITED KINGDOM
"Making Your Mind Up" — Bucks Fizz, 1981 (Winner)
This is the country I come from, so I have to choose carefully. But after much consideration ("Puppet On A String" – twee; "Boom Bang-A-Bang" – naff; "Save Your Kisses For Me" – total crap; "Love Shine A Light" – okay), I can now say this is the best thing they've sent to Eurovision. It's fun, it's catchy, and it's memorable for the 'skirt reveal'. But it also provided a happy sound to an otherwise bleak time in England in the early '80s.
UKRAINE
"Wild Dances" — Ruslana, 2004 (Winner)
I knew this one was going to win from the second the drumbeats kicked in. It gave Ukraine a Eurovision win on only its second* appearance!
*(Has a country ever won on its first appearance? Yes, technically it's Serbia, who won in 2007 – the first year they competed after splitting with Montenegro.)
YUGOSLAVIA
"Rock Me" — Riva, 1989 (Winner)
The formerly-existing country had its first and only win right at the tail-end of its lifespan. Admittedly it's the only entry from Yugoslavia I've heard apart from Tacji in 1990, but it's not bad.
ALBANIA
"Ktheju Tokës" — Jonida Maliqi, 2019 (17th place)
A very unusual song, but one of the highlights of this year. I must confess I'm not familiar with many of Albania's 16 entries to date, but it was refreshing to hear a song in their language this year (I'm all for countries using their own language instead of English – that's why I started watching Eurovision in the first place).
ANDORRA
I have nothing for tiny Andorra...sorry! They have only appeared at Eurovision 6 times (2004-09), and have never qualified for a final. It appears further appearances are unlikely, unfortunately. Their entries were always performed, in whole or in part, in Catalan.
ARMENIA
"Not Alone" — Aram MP3, 2014 (4th place)
This song had a great EDM sound. One of the few highlights of 2014. It also equalled Armenia's best ever result.
AUSTRALIA
"Zero Gravity" — Kate Miller-Heidke, 2019 (9th place)
Out of Australia's five Eurovision appearances, I think this song is the best. Even without the elaborate staging (swaying on a bendy pole), it's a powerful song, about a serious subject (coming out of depression). It has a great bassline, and the coda is brilliant as well. I would have liked to see it place higher, but 9th place is a respectable result.
AUSTRIA
"Weil Der Mensch Zählt" — Alf Poier, 2003 (6th place)
This is my all-time favourite Eurovision song. It might seem a bit weird given its subject matter (go read a translation of the lyrics now) and staging, but it has several things going for it: 1. It's sung by a comedian. 2. The sharp contrast between the 'hard rock' bits and the poppier parts. 3. He sings it in his native dialect. 4. The choruses sound like the jollying Eurovision singalongs of old. 5. The title doesn't really have a connection to the lyrics. I can't believe it came 6th, but I'm not complaining.
AZERBAIJAN
"Running Scared" — Ell & Nikki, 2011 (Winner)
I had to rely on Wikipedia for this one – Azerbaijan hasn't stuck in my memory as far as its entries go, but I definitely remember this winning song. I should have remembered them more; they ranked in the top 8 in their first 6 appearances!
BELARUS
"My Galileo" — Aleksandra & Konstantin, 2004 (SF 19th place)
An unconventional choice – my fave song Belarus has ever entered is one that didn't even make the final and was one of the lowest-ranked songs that year. I really like it though, even though I can't make out all of the lyrics. It's just a really nice pop song with folk sounds blended in.
BELGIUM
"Sanomi" — Urban Trad, 2003 (2nd place)
I was really hoping this song, sung in nonsense lyrics, would win in 2003. Tough competition that year, including my all-time fave (see Austria), but a great result nonetheless. Also, the lead singer looked a lot like Victoria Beckham. Unlike Victoria though, she had singing talent.
BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA
"Bistra Voda" — Regina, 2009 (9th place)
Bosnia & Herzegovina has a classy Eurovision record, submitting fine songs that show they take it seriously. I loved Dino Merlin's "Love In Rewind" from 2011 which finished 6th, but I think "Bistra Voda" has the edge on it; it's a powerful song.
BULGARIA
"DJ, Take Me Away" — Deep Zone & Balthazar, 2008 (SF 11th place)
I loved this blast of EDM – a very modern sound with tempo shifts and some great instrumental breaks. It never made the 2008 final which was a big disappointment for me (yeah, I'll get over it someday).
CROATIA
"Marija Magdalena" — Doris Dragovic, 1999 (4th place)
Pop music with a folk twist. Some great vocals. Croatia usually comes up with good stuff and this is their best result, equalling their 4th place in 1996.
CYPRUS
"Femme Fatale" — Evdoki Kadi, 2008 (2SF 15th place)
One of the few entries I've liked from Cyprus, this is the best of a so-so bunch. It's not sung in English though so that's a bonus!
CZECH REPUBLIC
"Friend Of A Friend" — Lake Malawi, 2019 (11th place)
Great sound – I was hoping these guys would do better. They wuz robbed in the popular vote, says I. But I'll czech out their other songs too. My second-favourite song this year.
DENMARK
"Love Is Forever" — Leonora, 2019 (12th place)
Denmark have a long Eurovision history but this year's entry was the best song I've heard by them – it was sung mostly in English but three other different languages got a few lines too, which is always good. I thought Denmark's winning entry in 2000 was a bit rubbish to be honest.
ESTONIA
"Rockefeller Street" — Getter Jaani, 2011 (24th place)
Damn, how could this only rank 24th? But then 2011 was a high-quality year. This was my fave from that year, a stomping bit of hard dance. Brilliant! By the way, there is no such Manhattan address as 1273 Rockefeller Street; I made sure to check when I was there.
FINLAND
"Hard Rock Hallelujah" — Lordi, 2006 (Winner)
Even without the monster masks, this will forever be known as the entry that brought hard rawk back to the Eurovision stage. The Scandinavians know how to ROK, that's for sure.
FRANCE
"Un, Deux, Trois" — Catherine Ferry, 1976 (2nd place)
France was a real Eurovision powerhouse in its early years and the nation has a rich and proud musical tradition – '60s and '70s French pop is great! However, songs sung in French, once a fixture at the top end of the Eurovision scoreboard, aren't often to be seen up there in recent years. The last one to take out the prize was Switzerland in 1988, before that Belgium in 1986, Luxembourg last did it in 1983, and the French themselves haven't won since 1977 – not once in my entire lifetime. I'm gonna go with a song from the classic era, a good example of how catchy French pop could be.
GEORGIA
"Midnight Gold" — Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz, 2016 (20th place)
A very Britpop-sounding song with unusual lyrics. Great bass! Very underrated in coming 20th.
GERMANY
"Ein Bißchen Frieden" — Nicole, 1982 (Winner)
One of the all-time best – an honest and earnest song pleading for peace. A beautiful song. I think there might be versions in other languages; the German version is the best one. It stood as Germany's only winning song for 28 years.
GREECE
"Watch My Dance" — Loukas Giorkas & Stereo Mike, 2011 (7th place)
Greek entries all tend to sound similar; not that they're bad, it just makes it harder to distinguish "My Number One" from "Secret Combination" from "Aphrodisiac" from...you get the idea. (They even entered a song called "OPA!" one year. Get the picture?) This 2011 entry had Greek instruments and a familiar feel to it, but broke up the formula by having rap verses in English before shifting into a chorus in Greek with an unconventional tempo (I think in every line of the chorus it's 4 beats per bar except the final bar which has 6 beats?). Anyway, it's great.
HUNGARY
"Forogj, Világ!" — NOX, 2005 (12th place)
That's a terrible band name, but the song makes up for it. Hungary aren't exactly prolific at Eurovision; this song was their comeback after a 6-year absence.
ICELAND
"Congratulations" — Silvia Night, 2006 (SF 13th place)
I don't think a lot of people liked Silvia Night when she performed at the 2006 semi-final (and failed to qualify) – but she didn't exactly endear herself to the audience and the Greek media. The song itself isn't bad – a few funny lines (and probably the only Eurovision song to contain the 'F-word'), but I have to wonder if it was all a stunt.
IRELAND
"Lipstick" — Jedward, 2011 (8th place)
Ireland have more Eurovision wins than anyone else, and to be honest I don't like any of 'em. All that maudlin Irish balladry makes you want to kill yourself. However, there are a lot more interesting entries they've had than those seven winning songs, and I rate "Lipstick" pretty high for its sheer energy. No reminiscing here, just a strong performance.
ISRAEL
"A-Ba-Ni-Bi" — Izhar Cohen & Alphabeta, 1978 (Winner)
This song won in the year I was born. It was also Israel's first win, and changed the musical landscape in a way too. It also [citation needed] proved that people other than shady Manhattan drug dealers could have an afro. Combine Hebrew wordplay with disco sounds and you're onto a winner!
ITALY
"Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu (Volare)" — Domenico Modugno, 1958 (3rd place)
Italy have a fine tradition of song competitions and, despite their absence from Eurovision from 1998 until 2010, still proved they are a force to be reckoned with, coming 2nd twice and 3rd once since their 2011 comeback. I have to pick "Volare" as their finest moment, even though it didn't give them a victory. But thanks to Dean Martin, it has become one of the best-known Italian songs of all time.
LATVIA
"I Wanna" — Marie N, 2002 (Winner)
The 2002 Contest was the only one I watched late, because I had been living in Japan that year and couldn't see it on TV. When I got home in August, I watched it on videotape. This is the only song I remember from that year – Marie N's costume changes during the song were quite skilfully done and helped implant it in voters' minds.
LITHUANIA
"We Are The Winners" — LT United, 2006 (6th place)
Yeah, this one was good. I was actually hoping it would win, given the title. 6th place isn't bad though – if it came in the bottom 5 that would be another story.
LUXEMBOURG
"Poupée De Cire, Poupée De Son" — France Gall, 1965 (Winner)
Luxembourg were at Eurovision from the start, only missing it one year (1959) before withdrawing. They have not participated since 1993. In those early years they were a force, winning five times. This is one of my top picks for best Eurovision song ever: a a classic piece of mid-'60s Franco-pop, and the first Eurovision winner that wasn't a ballad.
MACEDONIA, NORTH
"Ninanajna" — Elena Risteska, 2006 (12th place)
Back when they were called the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, this song did pretty well for itself. Onomatopoeic lyrics tend to be looked down upon these days (it's a long way from the days of "boom bang-a-bang", "bem bom" and "ring ding-a-ding"), but I didn't mind it in this case.
MALTA
"Vodka" — Morena, 2008 (2SF 14th place)
Is this song really about boozing it up? "Vodka, I want it so bad", etc.? Who knows. It's a good song though, and one that really should have made the final in the lacklustre 2008 Contest.
MOLDOVA
"Boonika Bate Doba" — Zdob Si Zdub, 2005 (6th place)
Call me ignorant, but I actually hadn't heard of Moldova until Eurovision 2005. It was a great Contest that year (I bought the CD, only time I've ever done so) and this was my fave song from that year. Zdob Si Zdub are a great 'gypsy punk' band and I've kept up with their new tracks since then – this year they released a cool song called "India Ma Cheama". A high-energy performance with a drumming granny. In 2017 Moldova got their best result with "Hey, Mamma!" which came 3rd – another great song.
MONACO
"La Coco-Dance" — Séverine Ferrer, 2006 (SF 21st place)
The microstate of Monaco has an extensive Eurovision history, participating almost from the start. They have come 3rd three times, 2nd once, and their sole win was in 1971. Unfortunately, I have only heard a couple of Monaco entries, because they were absent from the Contest from 1980 until 2003. This entry of theirs from 2006, an upbeat Caribbean-style number, would turn out to be Monaco's final appearance at Eurovision.
MONTENEGRO
"Euro Neuro" — Rambo Amadeus, 2012 (1SF 15th place)
This song was a bit of a laugh – it almost comes off as a comedy song. However, forced rhyming aside, it had some nice instrumentation to it. You've also gotta love the way Rambo (!) enunciates the words "monetary breakdance".
MOROCCO
"Bitaqat Khub" — Samira Bensaid, 1980 (18th place)
Well, Morocco has only competed in Eurovision once, so I guess it has to be this song! The only entry to come from Africa, it provided a bit of Middle Eastern flavour to the Contest. I've only just listened to it on Youtube and it's not bad – it's a shame Morocco wanted no further part after this.
THE NETHERLANDS
"Arcade" — Duncan Laurence, 2019 (Winner)
The Netherlands have so many entries – it's hard to pick just one, especially when I've only heard a handful of them. I can't say any one Dutch entry has made much of an impact on me, so I'll go with this year's entry, because I still remember the tune pretty well. And it's notable for ending a 44-year winning drought. Can you believe these guys failed to qualify for the final for 8 years straight?
NORWAY
"Fairytale" — Alexander Rybak, 2009 (Winner)
The dude playing the violin, remember him? Yeah.
POLAND
"Love Song" — Blue Café, 2004 (17th place)
Poland's best result (2nd place) was in their debut year (1994). They haven't exactly shone at Eurovision since. Still, this effort was pretty good. Go check out the video and see what the singer Tatiana is wearing. See what I mean?
PORTUGAL
"Dança Comigo" — Sabrina, 2007 (SF 11th place)
There's no doubt Portugal's win in 2017 was a landmark for them, their first Eurovision success after no less than 49 attempts. I actually like this traditional-sounding dance number from a decade earlier but it didn't make the final.
ROMANIA
"The Balkan Girls" — Elena Gheorghe, 2009 (19th place)
Romanian is a nice-sounding language – I'm not sure if a Romanian version of this song exists, so I've only heard the English version. The lyrics in the verses are a bit twee, but it's a good song nevertheless. The synth chords in the chorus give a warm, cruising feel despite its upbeat nature.
RUSSIA
"Song No.1" — Serebro, 2007 (3rd place)
Serebro went on to have a number of hit singles in Europe, all of them better than Russia's winning song in 2008...
SAN MARINO
"Say Na Na Na" — Serhat, 2019 (19th place)
Hey, it's little San Marino, who have participated 10 times to date. I always secretly hope the smaller and lesser-known countries make the final. They have qualified for the final only twice, and this song gave them their best-ever result. Good on yer, San Marino.
SERBIA
"Cipela" — Marko Kon & Milan Nikolic, 2009 (2SF 10th place)
Serbia of course had a massive win in 2007 with "Molitva", another good song, but I prefer the upbeat numbers, so I chose this. And there's nothing you can do about it, matey!
SLOVAKIA
Slovakia have only entered Eurovision 7 times out of 64. I've got nothing here – sorry.
SLOVENIA
"Hvala, Ne!" — Lea Sirk, 2018 (22nd place)
This was really cool – and yet it only placed 22nd on the night of the final! For shame, people. I did like that bit in the semi-final performance when she pretended the musical backup was lost.
SPAIN
"La Venda" — Miki, 2019 (22nd place)
I'm not usually enamoured by Spain's entries in the 22 Eurovisions I've seen, but I really liked this one. The best thing Spain has entered in ages – and it only came 22nd! Come on, people. Spain is the country with the longest Eurovision winning drought: 50 years, and counting. Right behind them are Monaco (48 years) and then France (42 years).
SWEDEN
"Waterloo" — ABBA, 1974 (Winner)
An obvious choice, isn't it? ABBA and the whole disco era is a bit before my time, but this still stand out, 45 years later, as a landmark in Eurovision history. It's not my favourite ABBA song (that'd be "Super Trouper" if'n ya must know) but it's a well-crafted song that launched a long career and one of the most recognizable sounds to ever come out of Sweden.
TURKEY
"For Real" — Athena, 2004 (4th place)
An appealing upbeat piece of ska which earned a good result in the first year that Eurovision had a semi-final. These guys sounded a lot like Moldova's Zdob Si Zdub from the following year (or I should say Zdob Si Zdub had a similar sound to them) – another entry I loved.
UNITED KINGDOM
"Making Your Mind Up" — Bucks Fizz, 1981 (Winner)
This is the country I come from, so I have to choose carefully. But after much consideration ("Puppet On A String" – twee; "Boom Bang-A-Bang" – naff; "Save Your Kisses For Me" – total crap; "Love Shine A Light" – okay), I can now say this is the best thing they've sent to Eurovision. It's fun, it's catchy, and it's memorable for the 'skirt reveal'. But it also provided a happy sound to an otherwise bleak time in England in the early '80s.
UKRAINE
"Wild Dances" — Ruslana, 2004 (Winner)
I knew this one was going to win from the second the drumbeats kicked in. It gave Ukraine a Eurovision win on only its second* appearance!
*(Has a country ever won on its first appearance? Yes, technically it's Serbia, who won in 2007 – the first year they competed after splitting with Montenegro.)
YUGOSLAVIA
"Rock Me" — Riva, 1989 (Winner)
The formerly-existing country had its first and only win right at the tail-end of its lifespan. Admittedly it's the only entry from Yugoslavia I've heard apart from Tacji in 1990, but it's not bad.
May 24, 2019
Eurovision Results Map 2019 (amended)
Well, what do you know guys. Belarus stuffed up their votes in the Eurovision final, so I have had to adjust my map accordingly. The only two changes are for the countries that achieved their best result this year: San Marino and North Macedonia.
San Marino, who were 20th, are now placed 19th. And North Macedonia (in their first year under their new name, and their first appearance since 2012) who were 8th, are now 7th. And, because of Belarus' voting errors, North Macedonia have replaced Sweden as the winners of the jury vote. So you could call North Macedonia the real winners here! But that would be silly.
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