Compilation Album Review: "Hot Or Wot"

Here's one of the earliest compilation albums from Australia that I have just added to my collection – only a buck on eBay!

Compilation: Hot Or Wot
Released: 1990 – RCA
Number of tracks: 17
Number one singles: None
Top ten singles: 5
Best track: "Infinity" by Guru Josh
Hidden gem: There aren't any songs here that I hadn't heard before.

An interesting one here – no number ones, but plenty of good stuff on offer. The biggest hits on Hot Or Wot are "How Can We Be Lovers" by Michael Bolton (the opening track), and "Mona" by Craig McLachlan & Check 1-2, which both reached number 3. There would probably be more than five top ten singles on here, if not for the curious fact that several songs – Taylor Dayne's "Love Will Lead You Back", The B-52s' "Roam", "Love Is" by Alannah Myles" and "I Remember You" by Skid Row – all peaked at number 11 or 12.

Anyway, who cares. Due to my habit of getting up way too early in the morning to watch the top 50 on Rage in its entirety, I am familiar with all 17 songs here. "Passion" by Bang The Drum I most remember for it being the song that came between Black Box and Technotronic on a VHS tape of mine where I taped the entire chart in May 1990. Speaking of whom, Technotronic's third single "This Beat Is Technotronic" is on here, sounding much louder than it does on the Technotronic album itself. Black Box's classic house piano track "I Don't Know Anybody Else" is here as well. Top stuff. Rave anthem "Infinity" is an essential addition too, as is Ben Liebrand's 1990 remix of "Black Betty" by Ram Jam – a most mysterious song to me in 1990 because it had no music video to promote it.

There are no lyrics included with this compilation – they hadn't started doing that yet. Instead you got a listing of the parent album each of the tracks were taken from. For Ram Jam it rather amusingly says "No album".

There's a few other denizens of the lower reaches of the charts: Jamie J. Morgan, Boom Crash Opera, Margaret Urlich...it's funny how songs like this might not necessarily be your favourites, but you remember them well enough anyway.

Rating: 7/10

Stationery: Rulers And Stencils

I have collected dozens of rulers and stencils over the years and thought I'd share some of them with you. Some are bog-standard, others somewhat rarer. In the photo on the right you can see your typical 15cm and 30cm plastic and metal dealies, along with a couple of rolling rulers for making parallel lines and arcs, as well as that odd metal protractor-with-a-ruler-attached contraption that I was sent from Hong Kong. The small KDK rolling ruler I picked up for spare change in some el-cheapo shop in the late '90s, while the Seikoshi rolling ruler was given to me in 1989.

These rulers here are an odd bunch: the top pink one was a free gift from my internet provider OCN in 2001 when I was living in Japan. The little dog attachment shuttles up and down the ruler when you tilt it. I'm not sure what purpose it serves other than to make a little noise. Next is a Yikes! novelty bendy ruler, bought in 1995, a slide rule given away as a free gift in the late '80s, and one of those bendable rulers for drawing curves with. Can't remember what they're called.

Now, onto the stencils. The ones you see here all date from the mid-'80s to the mid-'90s. The most dirty and used ones are made by Helix and are unbreakable – many a DIY sign back then was made with these. The larger green one was part of a kids' stationery set and was more of a novelty, as was the Gothic font one. Even now in the age of computer lettering, they have their own charm.





Finally we have two map-stencils from the UK and dated 1976; I wasn't born then, but someone in England gave me 'em. The green one is something anyone who attended high school in Australia would recognize: it's a Mathaid 4, a maths template which we used in school back then. They are still being made, so I guess they're still being used in schools. As you can see, unlike my 35+ year old Helix stencils, Mathaids are not unbreakable. But if you wanted to draw parabolæ, bell curves or sine waves, look no further.

One more stationery post, then it's back to business!

Compilation Album Review: "Do It Now!"

Compilation: Do It Now!
Released: 1991 – Warner
Number of tracks: 18
Number one singles: 2 – "Don't Go Now" by Ratcat, "Falling" by Julee Cruise
Top ten singles: 2
Best track: "How To Dance" by Bingoboys feat. Princessa
Hidden gem: "If A Vow" by The Hummingbirds

Here we have Do It Now!, a 1991 'pop'ular music compilation which by my reckoning was the last one released before the 100% Hits series commenced. I was going to review this later, but I may as well...say it with me...do it now!

It starts with its best track, which is typically how things go with these comps. "How To Dance" is seen as being a novelty pop-rap song without much substance (it may also be the first ever song to rhyme 'party' with 'Bacardi' [groan]), but hey, this was 1991. What were you expecting in pop music? Thought-provoking insights about the human condition? Well if you were, too bad. Instead you get a song that likens dancing to sex. Well I never.

Despite all this, actually, because of all this, I really liked "How To Dance" and still do. I was very close to buying the Bingoboys album, but you see, I had limited pocket money for buying cassettes in 1991. I had this rule that I would only buy an album if it had three songs on it that I liked. The 3-song rule served me well during my early teenage years!

After this comes "Ring My Bell" by Monie Love vs. Adeva. I'm not sure about the whole "versus" thing. They don't seem to be competing with each other for lyrical prowess. They let each other take turns on the vocals like any other civilized human beings. I used to make compilation tapes with songs off the radio (Take 40 again) and at first I used to write out only the song titles on the card, not the artist names. My friend Steve saw one of these tapes on a school camp and saw "Ring my bell" there, and wondered why I had a Collette song on my tape. I quickly reassured him it wasn't the Collette song, it just had the same name. Later that day, I got beat up in the dorm. (Not really. But I would have if it had have been Collette.)

Another standout track is "Mea Culpa Part 2" by Enigma. You know, I heard this song played in 1991 on Take 40 (as a one-off since it didn't chart) and liked it; it's still pretty good, but nowhere near as good as "Sadness Part 1", despite its similar structure and instrumentation.

This compilation isn't so hot with high-charting hits. It has the two abovementioned number 1 singles "Don't Go Now" and "Falling", which both only topped the charts for one week. "Don't Go Now" is still a joyous blast of guitars, whereas "Falling" is still an irritable dirge from a sucky TV show. I definitely wasn't watching Twin Peaks when I was 13. I'd rather watch the back of the fridge.

"Soul Eater" by Clouds is on here, and although it was their highest-charting song (the Loot EP, number 22), it hasn't aged too well. Unlike the mighty "Anthem" which was to come later, which is still their finest moment. And speaking of follow-up singles, we also have "Love School" by Divinyls on here, which was the follow-up to the biggest Australian single of 1991, "I Touch Myself". "Love School" only got to number 43, and listening to it now, it's hard to tell why it was picked for the tough job of following-up their previous number 1.

It's basically a tuneless dirge with none of the playfulness (and play with yourself-ness, snigger snigger) of their previous hit. What's funny is that on Do It Now! it's followed by "Blue Hotel" by Chris Isaak which is actually what "Love School" could have sounded like if it had been rocked up a bit and given a shot in the arm to jolt it out of its coma. "Blue Hotel" got to number 23, so draw your own conclusions.

Rating: 5/10

 

Compilation Album Review: "Summer '89"

Compilation: Summer '89
Released: 1988 – BMG Arista/Ariola
Number of tracks: 18
Number one singles: None
Top ten singles: 9
Best track: "Wild Wild West" by The Escape Club
Hidden gem: "Sexy Girl" by Sabrina

This is the compilation I have spent the most on so far! I paid $20.50 for it on eBay, and believe me, I'd seen copies on sale for a LOT more. I'm not sure why I spent so much – it's not like there are any tracks on it I HAD to have – but it looks like a true time capsule item to me. Look at that artwork! That's Australia in the late '80s, innit. This came out at the tail end of 1988 and is called simply Summer '89. Although this is the southern hemisphere so it should be Summer '88/'89 if'n ya wanna be technical about it.

It kicks off with, what else, FARNSEY. In 1988 FARNSEY sat astride the Australian music scene like a...a...big stridey thing. There was no escape from his powerhouse mullet and resplendent vocals (sorry, I'm partial to a bit of adjective swap). That tortured metaphor about the honey and the bee is the only naff part of "Two Strong Hearts", otherwise it's a solid Oz Rok™ tune®. As is Noiseworks' "Touch", heard on commercials for insurance for over two decades, and "If I Could" by 1927, their biggest hit and a fine example of pop-rock they continued into the '90s, but unfortunately not as many people were paying attention.

If you want regular Rok™, there's Bon Jovi, Poison and Guns N' Roses here. But remember, it's only recommended in small doses. You have been warned! Oddly enough it's Poison, with "Fallen Angel", that's the most tolerable of these three.

Yazz was another guilty '80s pleasure. Accept to imitators for the acid-house sound – looking at you, Collette. I reckon you'd need a good dose of helium to sing this, though. Sabrina Salerno's breasts also feature here with "Sexy Girl" – as an example of '80s Italian pop, it's not half bad, although it appears whoever wrote the song forgot to write an ending.

Oh man, that novelty Kylie Mole song, "So Excellent", is on here. For now, just this once, I'll allow it – since Kylie Mole was massive in '88. You want a time capsule of Australia at this time, you can't really leave it out. Seriously, I was 10 at the time and everyone was quoting that chick. Would you believe that the lyrics for this song are nowhere to be found online? However, there is no doubt that the term "go spack" is among them. Ace!

Y'know, I really hated "I Want Your Love" by Transvision Vamp when I first heard it, but I don't mind it now. I guess, as a little kid, I didn't 'get' it. And? The comp closes with "Oh Yeah" by Yello, a song from 1985, but I guess it got a re-release and charted in 1988, reaching the top ten. It seems to fit in quite nicely here.

Rating: 7/10

Compilation Album Review: "Smash Hits '93"

Compilation: Smash Hits '93
Released: 1993 – Columbia
Number of tracks: 19
Number one singles: 3 — "Mr. Vain" by Culture Beat, "All That She Wants" by Ace Of Base", "You Don't Treat Me No Good" by Sonia Dada
Other top ten singles: 12
Best track: "Ebeneezer Goode" by The Shamen
Hidden gem: None, because I've heard them all.

Five months ago, I got The Best Of 100% Hits 93 and here's the Smash Hits equivalent (hey guys, '93' should have an apostrophe). I'm not going to compare the two, but it's obvious this comp is geared towards a pop-loving teen-idol audience, hence the inclusion of Jeremy Jordan, Dannii, Toni Pearen and a couple of other sad tossers. But from a chart performance point of view, 15 of the 19 songs here hit the top ten. Even "Stone Cold" by Jimmy Barnes which I have no memory of how it sounds.

Essential tracks on here are the opener "Mr. Vain", "Ebeneezer Goode" of course and 2 Unlimited's "No Limit", an ace techno anthem if ever there was one. I also liked, and still do, "Jump Around" by House Of Pain which deserved a higher chart peak than number 15. It has outlasted most of the other songs on here in terms of its presence in popular culture, so that reflects rather well on House Of Pain and their 'fine malt lyrics' [sic], I guess.

I also rather enjoy the world music/chillout tune "Sweet Lullaby" by Deep Forest and its Solomon Island native's vocals. Did they pay that person, I wonder?

I had forgotten that Terence Trent D'Arby (who has gone by the name Sananda Maitreya since 2001) reached number 9 with "She Kissed Me". I'd forgotten about this song, but it's really rather good. And even though it's cheesy with some rather naff lyrics, "Rump Shaker" by Wreckx-N-Effect is a guilty pleasure as well – but I wish it had more bass to it. It's a booty tune, dammit!

Rating: 7/10